Victor has done it again, a 29 mile hike in the rain coupled with a return drive back to VT from Wildcat just to bag six peaks (Mt. Moriah to Wildcat D). I thought now would be the right time to pass on my interpretation of Victor’s rules for hiking.

It’s not about the nature, serenity or beautiful views, it’s about how many peaks you can bag in a day.

Minimize what you bring on the trail and don’t waste your money on quality camping and hiking gear.

Hiking down the trail is good, but running is better because you work up a sweat.

When planning your trip always bite off more than you can chew. You can always cut off some at the end when you are half way through the hike.

Sometimes when the map shows the trail making wasteful switchbacks down a steep face save time by going in a straight line instead. This really shouldn’t be a rule since it’s so obvious.

It's not a successful hike if you have water, always best to run out. The sooner you run out the less weight you have to carry.

Hiking and camping is a natural experience. Don’t bring cooking utensils and fossil fuel burning stoves. Eat granola and apples with your fingers. Or better just eat before and after at the nearest truckstop diner.

Hiking your last five miles at night without a flashlight is good, like the Pilgrims used to do it.

Signs of a good hike include blisters, losing toe nails, mild bouts of hypothermia and a wet sleeping bag.

On the return car ride home after a good hike, reward yourself by pulling over on the entrance ramp to a major highway, turn off all the lights so no one can see you and check out the stars!

Runner ups.

If the group is getting tired, breakaway so you can bag more peaks.

If you are going to bring your kids on a hike, make sure you bring another adult for when you ditch them on the trail.

Victor’s response:

I've made some mistakes, and I've learned from some, but others I have to commit a few times before I learn them. But the thing about the camping stove is true, I hate that stupid noise and the fact that you have to bring along cook stove fuel in your pack. Why not just eat sardines?